Stuffy Parties...

Well the jazz combo gig went well... Or should I say pretty stuffy? I would rate my performance at a 8 out of 10.. My buddy Milian would rate at a 25 out of 10.... He's that good.

Alright so I guess I'll dive deep inside my mind for a minute.

I wake up every morning thinking to myself. "you know.. I really don't want to work today"
When I have a thought like that I begin to try and understand the profession I joined. I think about what my perceptions were and what I wanted it to be. There is even some feeling that I try to re-create to motivate myself to enjoy what I love to do so much. Now, do not get me wrong when I say that.. I really do love music.. I love knowing that out of all the other jobs I could be doing, this job. The job that I for many years of my life urged to retire in.(it could be worse) The only problem.. I see everyday, classical, jazz and any other venue of the legitimate nature pushed farther away. The classical and jazz musician is a dying breed. I can't help but notice that when we do performances.. most of the people there want to see the rock group. When they here concert band or stage band they all seem to disappear. So I have to ask myself.. 'is this really for you.' The slow decay of a beautiful art form that once was cherished.
Then comes the thought of having to sit in a stinking office for the majority of a day. Knowing that the same bandsmen that you stand on the parade field with. Happen to be the people who enjoy working in an office more then they do practicing. Knowing that telling a shop supervisor that you feel like practicing, only to be assigned more work. Thats part of what goes on in this profession of mine.Now I don't mean to say life isn't enjoyable. Life is just as enjoyable to me as it ever was. Just not the way that I knew this was the job I wanted to do.
The last thing that comes to my mind is my future. Its very unclear to me as of now. The only thing clear to me is that I don't want to make a career out of this life. For some this life of being an army musician is just right. For myself its something that I wanted to be right. Something that I knew without a shadow of a doubt would be my calling. Only now I don't know where my path leads me.. The only thing I am certain of is that I will at one point be deployed. I can't say when or where I will be when that happens. But, I know that I will fulfill my role as a soldier the that call be made for me. Even with these thoughts of mine I still understand that I must be a soldier. This country needs its soldiers and the things that soldiers do for her. So I can at least find peace in realizing that little fact. Knowing that my job can make a difference. That one soldier can help change the lives of many. This truly is an Army of One.